Congratulations, you just raised $0 from your mom and a dream. This sticker captures the raw, unhinged optimism of a founder who thinks burnout is a personality trait. Slap it on your MacBook to remind people you’re “pre-revenue but spiritually Series C.”

Specs

• 3x3” — because size doesn’t matter until your seed round does

• Glossy finish, just like your pitch deck

• Sticks to laptops, walls, or your investor’s Tesla