Yet another “revolutionary productivity app.” Except this one doesn’t track tasks — it mocks your inability to finish them. Great for product managers, procrastinators, and anyone whose roadmap is basically a Choose-Your-Own-Excuse adventure.

Specs

• 3x3” — fits between your unclosed JIRA tickets

• Durable, waterproof, emotionally unavailable

• Reminds you that “done” is a social construct